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Joke of the Day

"Police are on the look out for a Midget Fortuneteller... He is described as a Small Medium at Large."

"Why do girls like nice guys? Cause nice guys always finish last."

"After seeing how the Segway owner died, the guy who runs the Shake Weight company must be terrified."

"Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman? A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it."

"With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask. If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?"

"HI I'M GOING TO HAVE AN UNCOMFORTABLY LOUD YET PRIVATE PHONE CALL ON THIS BUS AND EXHIBIT A STUNNING LACK OF SELF-AWARENESS. THANK YOU."

"Yo mama is so slutty.... I saw her on a box of wheaties with her legs wide open, saying breakfast for champs."

"Farting sense Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She didn't wear her seatbelt."

"Your moms so fat...... When she goes to KFC, she licks other peoples fingers."