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Joke of the Day

"if you're having a bad day, remember, there are people out there who have their ex's name tattooed on themselves."

Next Joke
 
"I hate when I can't find a decent status update to steal."
"What's your New Year's resolution? Mines is still 1920x1080, unfortunately."
"New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out."
"Don't judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. Unless he wears Crocs. Then, feel free to judge all you want...."
"Someone put six uneaten pastries in the trash because Satan has many forms."
"Thanks to whoever invented the mute button, because I can poop while on a conference call."
"Joke I just heard from a drunken asshole Man: why does your pussy taste like spinach Woman: because I just ate pop eyes"
"dog 911: what's ur emergency? dog: I JUST ATE CHOCOLATE dog 911: OMG WAS IT GOOD? dog: [whimpering] dog 911: ok ok. go eat some grass"
"What does a stripper do with her asshole before she goes to work? She drops him off at band practice."