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Joke of the Day

"So, since The Earth is the third Planet of our Solar System, that would make us all from ''Third World Countries.''"

"Fixing my grandma's computer and I see that her search history is about seven various spellings of the name of the last guy I dated."

"What's a basic girl's favorite vegetable? Asperrygus"

"ENGLAND: people are CROSSING OUR BORDERS for ECONOMIC ADVANCEMENT!!! THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED WORLD FROM LIKE 1583 to 1997: u don't say"

"Caller: Finally! I got through! I've been trying to call the zoo for hours! Zookeeper: Yes all our lions were busy!"

"Pasta & Postmodernism What did the spaghetti say to the postmodernist ravioli? Stop being such an intellectual im-pasta."

"The highest form of flattery A plateau"

"What makes a ghost happy? An elevator. It lifts the spirits."

"I'm gonna start using my cat's ages like y'all do your kids. 5 just projectile vomited and 1 is trying to eat it off the floor."

"What did the kid say to his mother right before he went to India? Mumbai"