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Joke of the Day

"ENGLAND: people are CROSSING OUR BORDERS for ECONOMIC ADVANCEMENT!!! THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED WORLD FROM LIKE 1583 to 1997: u don't say"

"My daughter asked if I am going to die someday... I said ""Don't worry sweetheart. I promise I'll be alive for the rest of my life."""

"My mate got run over this morning by a limousine, it took fucking ages..."

"A toddler who refuses to take a nap... Is guilty of *resisting a rest*."

"I was the principle subject in a lengthy experiment on laziness They told me the results but I couldn't be fucked listening."

"What do you call a stupid person? stupid"

"My friend took me to a twilight fencing class. I couldn't really see the point."

"On a scale of corn to manycorn how impressed are you by my new corn-based number system"

"I'm getting tired of all these Nepal jokes. Come on guys, shake things up."

"What's common between Hillary and Bill Clinton? A jew blowing their presidency"