155395

Joke of the Day

"I asked my friend how he can date a fat chick... He says she's grown on him"

"Why did Laketown pass new emissions regulations? They had a major Smaug problem."

"Why is your optometrist gay? They love people who can't see straight!"

"I went to see a Topless Ventriloquist last weekend. She was awesome. I didn't see her lips move once."

"I just passed a beer truck on the highway. ""Wait a minute. I'm named after beer?!!?"" -My 6 yr old son, Miller"

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flags a big plus."

"When your wife says ""It's up to you"", it's not."

"What's a pedos favourite key? A minor."

"Why did the baker go to work? He kneaded the dough!"

"It's funny how certain scents can bring back memories of people we associated with those scents like how I remember my ex every time I take a shit."