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Joke of the Day

"I just passed a beer truck on the highway. ""Wait a minute. I'm named after beer?!!?"" -My 6 yr old son, Miller"

"What's a 69er got in common with the mafia ? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."

"I painted my computer black.. I thought it would run faster, but now it just stopped working."

"First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It's because he's a hoptimist."

"70 yr old boss: i have the body of a fit 30 yr old. Me: where? Buried in your rose garden?"

"Me: What does that cloud look like to you? 3-year-old: A cloud. Me: No, what do you imagine it could be? 3-year-old: Rain."

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches."

"Daughter announced there will be rain for Thanksgiving. We usually have turkey but with her cooking skills rain will taste better."

"Does anyone know how the lady reacted when Van Gogh gave her his ear? Was it positive? Cause I'm running out of ideas for gifts."

"We met for coffee yada yada yada next thing I know we're in the back of my car covered in lobsters and her dog is driving us to the ER"