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Joke of the Day

"Why did the zombie cross the road? To get his guts back. My three year old made that one up, I though it was pretty good :)"

"I hate when my cat brings in a dead bird and I have to pretend I enjoy eating it so I don't hurt his feelings"

"I'm going to fire one of the guys that works at my mayonnaise factory. He keeps asking for a mayoRaise."

"What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Trying to fit in."

"My wife set a limit on how much we can spend on each other for Christmas. It's $100 on me and $500 on her."

"I asked Rick Astley for a movie... I asked him to borrow some movies. He said ""sure what movies do you want?"" I asked him for the movie 'Up'. He started singing. ""Never gonna give you Up!"""

"Pizza joke? Forget it, it's too cheesy"

"Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes."

"What does a lonely pepper do? Gets jalapeno business."

"9/11 Jokes Aren't Funny... they are just plane wrong."