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Joke of the Day

"What does a baby computer call it's father? Data. Credit: Her (movie)."

"I don't know what the question is.. But violins is not the answer."

"I like my sex like I like my belts... If it's not tight enough, I'll move it to another hole ."

"I'll apologize for burning your house down if you apologize for telling me I ""overreact."""

"Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still."

"Why would you ever ""brave"" the cold when you can ""complain about"" it?"

"What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma? When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head."

"I'm not saying I'm batman but answer me this have you ever seen me and batman in the same room?"

"""Wow this pizza is amazing"" Yes, well it's our specialty dough. We soak it in pickle juice. Dill pickle juice actually. It's a dilldough"

"What does a pig use for his skin? Oinkment."