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Joke of the Day

"I just found out diarrhea is genetic... It runs in your genes."

"What kind of donuts did Bob Marley prefer? The ones with Jam in"

"If I ever have a stroke I'm going to tell kids that stare I was making a face when the wind changed and then I had a stroke."

"Q: What are swearing outdoor grills powered with? A: Profane tanks."

"People who drive very slowly cause me cognitive dissonance. They deserve to die, but appear less likely to do so..."

"Cop: Reason I pulled you over was you were swerving Me: Sorry was tryin to catch a Pokemon Cop: Which one!? I mean let me see your license"

"Girls aren't friends with other girls. They are just future enemies."

"Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!"

"KFC now offering the Top Kill sandwich! Bacon. Cheese. Mud. Sandwiched between two oily chicken slabs served on a plate of shame"

"The corner of this table hurt me and made me cry, so now we're dating"