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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: If you had to do it all over again, would you? Me: Yeah. Cw: You would? Why? Me: Because I know what the words ""had to"" means."

"I've never been offered money for sex. Never been offered money to not have sex either. So there's that."

"Old Mr. Rosen goes to the Doctor Doctor: Mr. Rosen, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're going to have to stop masturbating. Mr. Rosen: Why? Doctor: So I can examine you."

"What are the 2 most important holes in the female body? No, you f**king pervert. It's her nostrils. How else could she breathe while giving you a blowjob?"

"How does a girl get a guy to eat shit? She wipes back to front."

"I just ate some pasta... ...and it was worth every Penne. ^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)"

"Have you heard the joke about Baltimore? It's a riot!"

"What do you call a stylish molecule? A molecool."

"I like my women like I like my beer: I'm so fucking lonely."

"What's brown and rhymes with 'snoop?' Dr. Dre"