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Joke of the Day
"Who do you think the scariest POTUS was? I'd have to say Rushmore, considering he had four heads."
Next Joke
"Mr & Mrs Smith is my favorite movie about how trying to kill your spouse & demolishing your house can bring the magic back to your marriage"
"What do you call an army of toddlers? Infant-ry. *insert cringe here*"
"Want a slutty costume? Dress up as my professors, they barely cover up anything important."
"sorry i'm still an undecided voter, but it's hard to pick just one when I love them both so very very much"
"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? You don't know...? Oh.. Man, that's lame."
"Horses are so negative in meetings.... They are such neigh-sayers."
"What did the vampire call his false teeth? A new fangled device."
"What does it mean when a lion roars? Shut up. The movie is about to start."
"Being popular on twitter is like being the keynote speaker at a Dementia Convention. No one remembers you the next day."