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Joke of the Day

"Daddy, why is grandma so bitter? I don't know, son; seems to run in the family. Your great uncle tasted awful"

"SHE has the mouth of a sailor... ...that recently retired & started a new career as a trucker."

"So... Do you like dragons? You do? Good. Cause I am gonna be draggin' my balls across your face. Someone at work told me this and I couldn't stop laughing."

"FYI: By the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas song, your home is crammed with 23 flying Birds and 50 hyperactive Humans."

"*pulls up to window* Me: *on phone* Ok, so you want a chocolate shake also? Ok, I'll get two then. *phone rings while its at my ear*"

"Things that are dangerous- -riding a motorcycle -sharks -riding sharks"

"What rhymes with ""hug me""? Chutney."

"there's a jehovah's witness dressed up as a cop who keeps banging on my door, haha nice try buddy"

"Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls"

"What's great when you're at work, and terrible when you're in bed? Getting off early"