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Joke of the Day
"What's a doll's favorite food? Barbie-Q!"
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"The Chicago Bears"
"What do you call 0.33333333333 of a shit? A turd."
"When he died, Beethoven left something on his piano bench It was the same thing he left in his toilet: his last movement"
"My friend came up to me He said, ""Can you ever remember a time where you removed a wig?"" I said, ""Not off the top of my head."""
"As a younger man, I used to think women were only good for one thing... As I've gotten older I've realized......I'm better at doing that myself too."
"Proper punctuation... Proper punctuation is the difference between ""helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse"" and ""helping your uncle jack off a horse"" It's a classic, but a good one"
"Any ship can be a minesweeper once..."
"Puts an ""I love Daddy"" shirt on my kids until they're old enough to read."
"What do you see when the pillsbury doughboy bends over? Doughnuts"