41251

Joke of the Day

"As a younger man, I used to think women were only good for one thing... As I've gotten older I've realized......I'm better at doing that myself too."

"[Job Interview] Sir, it says here you're part of a small group of criminals that primarily kills interviewersoohhhhmygod"

"My only real accomplishment in life is knowing all the words to Coolio's ""gangsta's paradise""."

"I don't always feel like I won the genetic lottery, but when I do... I'm at Wal-mart."

"Moist people aren't offended by the occasional typo."

"After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like ""feeding the hungry"" and ""How to thank a loving wife"""

"What's the most dishonest place on earth? The Library"

"Pack of polos for sale still in the wrapper Mint condition Pack of polos for sale, still in the wrapper. Mint condition"

"What kind of tea do the crime investigation team drink? A ""casual tea"""

"If I have a son, he's going to be named Alvin Simon Theodore, and it'll be funny as hell whenever anyone gets mad and yells his full name."