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Joke of the Day

"So my girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess. So I put her in a castle and sent some Italian plummer to find her."

"When do accountants laugh out loud? When somebody asks for a raise"

"Why did the internet pirate get scurvy? He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore."

"REAL '90s kids will recognize this! ---> Current unemployment."

"DATE: so...this is your place? ME: yea...not fancy but it suits me. *opens flap of bouncy house* oh, also do you mind taking off your shoes"

"What did one mouse say to the other mouse? I get a click out of you."

"What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball."

"How can you tell if your roommate's gay? His dick tastes like shit"

"Did this many people have birthdays before Facebook?"

"1. Loan someone a pocket knife. 2. Take it back by wrapping it in a rag. 3. Explain you need a knife with someone else's prints on it."