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Joke of the Day

"DATE: so...this is your place? ME: yea...not fancy but it suits me. *opens flap of bouncy house* oh, also do you mind taking off your shoes"

"Growing up, whenever I told my father, 'It's really nice out!'... He'd reply, 'Yeah, I had it out a minute ago, I thought it was great, too!' And so went my childhood..."

"So I married way too young... Oops, she spells it Wei Tu Yung"

"My girlfriend just got a very interesting fortune cookie: Every exit is an entrance to a new experience' ""Wow"" she said, ""are you thinking what I'm thinking?"" I fcuking hope so."

"I was born to be a pessimist.. My blood type is B Negative."

"What's the best part about banging Jessica Alba? You'll know if she was faking it."

"I'm no racist I love black people so much I stopped tipping."

"My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more naughty in bed But now she wants me to give her toys back."

"What do you call a teenage cheese cracker? Chee-zits I made this up. *bows* Thank you, thank you...thank you so much."

"What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? (you're mom can't take a joke)"