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Joke of the Day

"A man tried to force his wife to take an aspirin when she got in bed with him. She began yelling and saying ""I don't have a headache!"" The man replied, ""Good, let's fuck."""

"What's the difference between the Welland bus terminal and a Lobster with breast implants? One is a busty crustacean, and the other is a crusty bus station."

"What part of New York has the most feminists? Manhatin'"

"Why do turds taper off at the end? So your asshole doesn't slam shut"

"I actually loved the Twilight: Eclipse movie until I realized I was actually in an alley drunk watching two cats fight over a dead mouse."

"I faked a cough to get out of work. I tell myself I wasn't lying... I was just being SARScastic."

"What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication? Urine trouble!"

"Why did Saint Francis cry? Someone called him Assisi."

"What do you call a chubby girl that's high? A baked potato."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? ...ground beef"