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Joke of the Day

"Why do turds taper off at the end? So your asshole doesn't slam shut"

"my penis was in the Guinness book of world records for some reason the librarian didn't like it and threw me out:("

"I remember 2016 Like it was just yesterday"

"Tourist: What's the speed limit in this hick town? Native: We don't have one. You strangers can't get out of here fast enough for us."

"I date men whom have their life paths laid out firmly and don't waver. Yes, their paths are Psycho and Socio, but consistency is admirable."

"I bet you 80908429702979720947290472390749270 ... That you didn't read that number :)"

"What do you call a homosexual man on roller skates? Rolaids."

"Last night, I was laying in my bed, looking up the stars as I thought to my self.. Where the fuck is my roof??"

"DOC: good news is you'll make it ME: phew! DOC: ...into the the record book for stupidest way to die ME: *still vomiting marshmallows*"

"What do you call a hard working man from whose chauffeur is from seoul? Korea driven."