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Joke of the Day

"I wear my tattoos on the inside. Ever since having discount back surgery from a guy named ""Spider."""

"One dolphin cut another dolphin off at the intersection of Coral Reef and Caribbean Current... The other dolphin said, ""Hey, you did that on porpoise!"""

"Technically, all vehicles are time machines."

"Waiter! Oh Waiter! Yes, I`d like to know if I have earned any CashBack Reward`sTM with the purchase of my farm fresh miniature cucumber plate"

"Bruce Jenner Coffee! It's so mild that it can change a strong man into a gentle lady with only two sips, and about $100,000 in cosmetic surgery."

"What do you call an Italian guy with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"[Pick Up Line] Is someone calling me, Or are you just that beautiful. Because Something Is vibrating in my Pocket..."

"I can't believe other countries are allowed to celebrate the New Year before America. Some superpower we turned out to be."

"Before my father kicked the bucket he asked me the most profound question... He said ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"What was the slutty nurse looking for in October? A Hallowiener."