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Joke of the Day

"Waiter! Oh Waiter! Yes, I`d like to know if I have earned any CashBack Reward`sTM with the purchase of my farm fresh miniature cucumber plate"

"Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren't worth it."

"Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once."

"That pie smells so good I jizzed in my pants... I guess you could say I came to my senses."

"What is a pirate's favorite element? Gold."

"What is posthumous work ? Something written by someone after they are dead !"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He [ate his food, drank his tea, etc] before it was cool."

"Why was the Ethiopian baby crying? It was having a mid-life crisis."

"There are straight women who turn lesbian when horny. I believe 'spaghetti' is the correct term. Straight untill wet."

"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."