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Joke of the Day

"Im a guy who's into BDSM, necrophilia, and beastiality. Am i just flogging a dead horse?"

"just told my kid ""you're not going to die if you try a piece of lamb"" and she said ""yeah, i'm going to die anyway"""

"When my wife told me to stop imitating flamingos, I had to put my foot down"

"My toddler was arrested today at kindergarten during nap time. He was charged with resisting a rest."

"My wife acts like she wants to have sex, but then we don't. I googled it, it's called cuddling."

"I would have been a gastroenterologist... But I didn't give a shit"

"Got disoriented and walked into the wrong classroom. Didn't want to look stupid so I just went ahead and switched majors."

"Yo mamma is so stupid she thought the fast Fourier transform was a way to complete your bachelor's degree."

"Why do french people eat snails ? They don't like fast food."

"How does an elephant get out of a small car ? The same way that he got in !"