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Joke of the Day

"What did pirate say when he turned 80? AYE MATEY"

"My wife was in jail, so I decided to go for the conjugal visit, which caused her parents to start freaking out... Best game of Monopoly ever!"

"What's 7-1? A national disappointment."

"What do hillbillys do on Halloween? Pump Kin"

"folks we use a Mouse to browse a web. what are we on the internet or in a barnyard here. cmon damnit."

"Did you recently date Taylor Swift, only to be dumped and have a song written about you? You may be entitled to compensation. Call now."

"I hate when my tattoo guy asks if he can take pics for his website and then I wake up the next day realising I don't have any tattoos."

"What do you call a condom within a condom? Contraception."

"Don't be ashamed of who you are. That's your parents job."

"[At Doctor] Me:I'm having chest pain Doc:Did you buy a new bra? Me:Yes! Thanks for noticing! Doc:I meant it could be causing the pain Me:Oh"