152874

Joke of the Day

"I Like My Vaginas Like My Two Favorite Clint Eastwood Movies Dirty Harry and Every Which Way but Loose"

"Wife: I think we need a break. *Titanic crashes into iceberg* Husband: THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? Wife: Yes."

"Yeah, bitches! I just sharpened a pencil with a KNIFE. I feel like such a man. I'm gonna go show my mom. BRB"

"Punchline... Joke..."

"what's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? beer nuts are $1.69 and deer nuts are under a buck"

"You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nites and so does she."

"Old man Manelli is cooking a chicken on a rotisserie in his front stoop When a hippy walks by. He stops, looks up and says: ""Hey man! The music stopped and your monkeys on fire"""

"[At job interview] Interviewer: Do you have a police record? Me: No. But I do have a few of their albums on cassette *hires me instantly"

"Seduce Angela Merkel by fondling the hem of her cardigan while whispering ""Aren't you too pretty to be a Chancellor?"""

"Where did Buzz feed learn to click bait so well from? Me"