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Joke of the Day

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wipe"

"Today as a Random Act of Kindness, I wore a really tight sweater to work."

"One potato asks another: -""Are you sure we are related?"" -""Yes I yam!"""

"Did you hear Uber and Lyft are merging? They're rebranding as ""Luber: For when you need to come fast!"""

"What's a feminists favorite music festival? Burning Man."

"Policeman: Didn't you hear me whistle at you? Woman Driver: Sure but I don't flirt when I drive."

"""If you love the bed so much why don't you marry it?"" *imagines beautiful ceremony on the beach, me & Beddy. No one can stop our love now."

"I'm starting a business in Indiana; we do paternity tests and private investigations. It's called ""Hoosier Daddy and What Does He Do?"""

"Many Americans don't know the opposites of the following words: * Always * Coming * From * Take * Me * Down"

"Why didn't Toronto's mayor tell us earlier about his drug use? It must have fallen through a crack."