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Joke of the Day

"The interviewer asked, ""Where do you see yourself in five years?"" The job candidate responded, "" I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."" Use it while you can, people!"

"What do you call a septic cat? pussy."

"How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car? Put him in the front."

"What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? Bingo"

"I've been reading a book about anti-gravity. Man, I just can't put this thing down."

"How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world? Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go."

"DUMPED BY HIS GIRLFRIEND Q: Why was the 6'6"" guy so brokenhearted after his 4'9"" girlfriend dumped him? A: He was nuts over her."

"Maybe Jesus went black, and that's why he isn't coming back."

"Beer: When are you coming home. Me: Right away honey. See. Marriage works. Just choose the right wife."

"Secret to success is to know who to blame for your failures."