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Joke of the Day

"Justin Bieber just compared himself to Kurt Cobain. When Kurt Cobain finds out, he's totally going to kill himself."

"What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger."

"*walks by HR door for 11th time to see if she's not there so I can take some candy off her desk* HR: Do you need something Josh? me: Nope"

"What is Donald Trump's favourite drink? A white Russian."

"I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well."

"""You never say you love me,"" wept my girlfriend. I walked up to her and said, ""You love me."""

"It Only Gets Worse As An Adult, Charlie Brown"

"A sausage and an egg in a frying pan..... The sausage says to the egg: 'fucking hell its hot in here.' The egg says to the sausage: 'fucking hell, a talking sausage.'"

"I went to a whorehouse the other day... The sign outside said ""We're closed so beat it"""

"Whats brown and comes out of Cowes backwards? The Isle of Wight ferry."