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Joke of the Day

"A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face. Edit: Come on! It s a joke, don t get butt hurt! And yes, I spelled woman wrong, who cares?"

"Motorcycles, more like donor cycles."

"What does a baby in a blender sound like? I don't know, I couldn't hear it over the sound of my masturbating."

"""Never go to bed angry"" is the worst advice ever. I haven't slept in eleven years."

"Why was the robot cold? He was missing his winter gear"

"[interviewer looks up from resume] in the skills, you wrote ""completing sentences? Yes."" wow. you ""'re hired?"" amaz- ""on prime?"" get out."

"I'm a lady on the streets but a silly fake ghost in the sheets"

"Did you hear about the mathematician who got out of jail? He's trying to integrate back into society, but you can still kinda differentiate him from others."

"Why did the perv leave? Because he came."

"My costume budget is pretty slim, so I'm going as 'disinterested millennial' for Halloween this year."