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Joke of the Day

"The Blind Man ""Ah, I see,"" said the blind man as he spat into the wind. ""It's all coming back to me now."""

"Death is not the end. You still have to dispose of the body and hide the evidence."

"What do you call 6.63*10^-34 mutinied pirates? Planck walkers"

"Why was the cow scared about going into the slaughter house? His life was at stake. Badum psh."

"Do you know what happened to my tooth in the dentist's office? [Filled]"

"When someone slings shit at me, I like to duck and let it hit the person stabbing me in the back."

"A weeping willow tree is just like a regular willow tree only married"

"I don't mind going to work. It's that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me."

"A ladies magazine told me to compliment my wifes booty. So I told her I was glad it wasn't hairy. I need a place to stay"

"Him: My voice is a little hoarse. Me: You have a pony?! Him: ... Me: ... Him: ... Me: I wish I had a pony. *pouts*"