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Joke of the Day
"Why did the perv leave? Because he came."
Next Joke
"Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood."
"After being hit by an airstrike from the Turkish air force, a Syrian leader was quoted as saying... ""As God is my witness, I thought the Turkish couldn't fly..."""
"Your mummy joke Your mummers so fat when she put on a beqeny everyone screams Godzilla"
"Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough"
"To my future wife: When I die I want you to mix my ashes in a bowl of chilli from wendi's, then eat it. Just so I can tear that ass up one more time."
"Go to a suburban neighborhood, find the meanest mom with the biggest glass of white wine, and bring her to negotiate your new car purchase."
"Doctor Doctor my hair keeps falling out can you give me anything to keep it in ? Yes here is a paper bag !"
"What does a stripper and a Subway sandwich maker have in common? They both prefer to be called ""artists"" instead of what they really are."
"2 peanuts are walking in the park. One is assaulted."