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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a vampire, that follows the rules? Draculaw"
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"It's funny how different the Clintons turned out... One has a stick up her ass and the other is trying to put his stick in everyone else's ass!"
"Charles Barkley sounds like a made-up name a dog would think of to get into a fancy country club."
"What do we want? Apathy! When do we want it? Oh, you know, whenever."
"/r/Jokes hits 4 Million subscribers **/r/Jokes metrics:** Total Subscribers: 4,004,739 Subreddit Rank: 34 Subreddit Growth & Milestones: http://redditmetrics.com/r/Jokes"
"""No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!"" -lie you tell at 18. ""No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!"" -lie you tell at 28."
"Some kid just threw a bottle of milk at me HOW DAIRY! His behaviour was udderly disgusting. It just skimmed my head."
"*puts on white shirt* *accidentally spills coffee* *takes off shirt* *shoves shirt into coffee pot* *puts on brown shirt*"
"The morning after a long night of drinking, I went to buy a flower arrangement. The guy at the counter asked me if I had been drinking. I said, ""No. I woke up like this. Florist."""
"A husband walks into the bedroom... ... and hands his wife 2 Advils. She says: ""But honey, I don't have a headache!"" ... To which he replies: ""Aha, I got you! Let's have sex then!"""