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Joke of the Day

"What do we want? Apathy! When do we want it? Oh, you know, whenever."

"People who smoke cigarettes die sooner, but people who smoke e-cigarettes deserve it more."

"The Vietnamese place on my street has soup so popular they make you stand in a line to get it. It's a big pho queue."

"Wet wipes are tissues who like to party."

"Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once."

"So, two yogurts walk into a bar The bar tender says ""hey, what do you think you're doing? We don't serve you here!"" And the Yogurts respond ""Why? We're two cultured individuals."""

"I went out drinking last Friday and took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before."

"I can tell everything I need to know about your business by the thickness of your bathroom toilet paper."

"What color is ice? Hielo."

"What do religion and a penis have in common? Wave it in someone's face and they'll get mad!"