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Joke of the Day

"Some kid just threw a bottle of milk at me HOW DAIRY! His behaviour was udderly disgusting. It just skimmed my head."

"Who would kick The Rock's ass in a fight? Paper."

"New Facebook technology can identify faces with 97.25% accuracy, and then ask you if you want to tag that statue in the background."

"HOT LOCAL SINGLES IN YOUR AREA WANT YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER."

"I really want to try sado-necro-beastiality... But I feel like I'd just be flogging a dead horse."

"What do you say after you read a book? reddit!"

"What did the noble gas sound like when he laughed? He He He"

"What do houses eat when their breath stinks? Apart Mints"

"What did Bill Clinton say to Monica Lewinsky after getting caught? ""I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election""."

"How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb? Just kidding, you can't change anything in the United States."