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Joke of the Day

"The morning after a long night of drinking, I went to buy a flower arrangement. The guy at the counter asked me if I had been drinking. I said, ""No. I woke up like this. Florist."""

Next Joke
 
"LinkedIn is a terrible dating site"
"What did the cannibal say after eating a leper? That just fell apart in my mouth!"
"Perfect one night stand: Amish person. No internet access. No phones. In the heat of passion they'll whisper the secret to apple butter."
"Sometimes when I cum, I scream really loudly because people should knock before opening a bathroom stall."
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"Why are there so many Female Archaeologists? Because women love digging up the past."
"When my friends are sad, i send them a long ass paragraph, but when I'm sad, they only say ""Oh sorry"" or ""Well that sucks""."
"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks this morning."
"Hey girl, are you a fire alarm? 'Cause you get triggered from the smallest of things"