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Joke of the Day
"A dark sense of humor is like a Make-A-Wish child, never gets old."
Next Joke
"I'm rubber. You're glue. I don't conduct low voltage electricity. You're great for arts & crafts."
"*goes to get phone out of car *sees car has been stolen *finds phone in back pocket OH THANK GOD"
"Why did the Hipster burn his lip? He drank coffee before it was cool."
"What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do? ...Stays up all night pondering the existence of a dog"
"Jesus said unto John, ""Come fourth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and won a toaster."
"Republicans didn't protest when Obama was elected... Because they had to go to work."
"Sausages or..... Salsa Jizz"
"BOSS: Ok so far so good. But before we finish the interview I'm gonna have you take a typing test. LOBSTER: *looking down at claws* Shit"
"I was thinking about getting a tattoo... [one liner] I was going to get a tattoo of a cross on my testicles, but I thought it would be too sacrilegious."