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Joke of the Day
"A dark sense of humor is like a Make-A-Wish child, never gets old."
Next Joke
"Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, ""Is it hot in here or is it just me?"" The other one looks at him and replies, ""HOLY SHIT, A TAKING MUFFIN!!"""
"Enough is Enough! No like seriously they're the same word."
"8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid."
"Why didn't the ghost have any babies? Because he had a Halloweenie! (Hollow-weenie)"
"Boss: Are you done with those reports yet? Me: Can you stop hovering over me? Boss: Sorry [turns off jetpack] Me: Much better."
"I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 Because I really like that one-to-one time."
"My girlfriend told me I need to spice things up in the bedroom... So I told her I would cumin her pussy. (That joke only works sometimes because it's seasonal)"
"Today I got bored and went to a seafood restaurant... [OC- would like opinions] Just for the halibut."
"What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits till you're 13 to come on your face."