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Joke of the Day

"I'm less upset with Lance Armstrong lying about taking performance-enchancing drugs than I am at Oprah for lying about retiring."

"A rich guy walks by.. When someone asks,""What's that smell?"" The man turns around and says,""I'm sorry, it must be my Elon Musk."""

"I saw a turtle during a thunderstorm You could say he was shellshocked"

"A man calls in sick... ""It's my eyes,"" he says. ""What's wrong with them?"" his boss asks. ""I just can't see myself coming to work today."""

"Ever heard of jenkem? It's the shit!"

"What is the difference between memory and ram? I can't memory my weiner in your mouth."

"A friend of mine accused me of having a scat fetish Fuck that shit."

"Why was the Roman upset with the porn site? They only had XXX videos"

"How do you fit five elephants into a car ? Two in the front two in the back and the other in the glove compartment !"

"Why was the killer whale fired from his restaurant job? Because he didn't serve a porpoise..."