102796

Joke of the Day

"A man calls in sick... ""It's my eyes,"" he says. ""What's wrong with them?"" his boss asks. ""I just can't see myself coming to work today."""

"If you watch an Apple store get robbed... are you an iWitness?"

"Diff Good Girl & Bad Girl What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home."

"Me: Can my gift this year be a new secretary. Boss: I cannot legally assign you anyone until your last secretary's case goes to trial..."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands. That joke never gets old..."

"I have the heart of a lion... and a lifelong ban from the zoo."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... ...Nobody likes the dark ones."

"Police Chief: Why are you putting handcuffs on that building? Officer: I'm making a house arrest"

"Was just reading a new book with a great female hero And I can say I'm addicted to this heroine."

"I heard there was a bombing in Times Square. But it was just Mariah."