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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between memory and ram? I can't memory my weiner in your mouth."

"I've been thinking about you...Owl night long."

"what has nine legs, four feet and orange? Nothing, fuck off"

"I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person. That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work."

"I just turned my iPhone into an iPad simply by holding it closer to my face."

"*weighs self* ""Shit"" *takes clothes off* ""GODDAMMIT"" *takes tampon out*"

"Quit embarrassing me in front of my friends, iPod shuffle."

"What's the worst smell in the world? An anchovie's cunt."

"A doe came running out of the forest: ""That's the last time I do that for two bucks."""

"Did you hear about the logical skunk? It made sense."