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Joke of the Day

"Did you know hippos kill more people than sharks every year? No one has ever seen a hippo kill a shark."

"I'm participating in some vintage ploughing this weekend I'm visiting the local retirement home"

"Words can't even describe how beautiful you are. But numbers can, 3/10."

"They say the black community isn't to fond of gay marriage... maybe its for the best.. I mean... who needs two dead beat fathers?"

"I have Alzheimer's disease. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's disease!"

"Sure, I'll spend $5 on a cup of coffee, but I draw the line at paying 44c to have someone travel 3000 miles to hand deliver a letter for me."

"What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards? A Czech Republic"

"Why shouldn't you run over a mexican kid on a bike? Because it might be your bike."

"What do you call a metalhead with a cold? Flemmy"

"Why are photos in Latvia always such good quality? There's no such thing as potato quality there."