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Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't you run over a mexican kid on a bike? Because it might be your bike."

"I don't get why people say ""Pussy tastes great""... I've licked 5 of them, Then I got Cat hair in my mouth"

"It's not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight."

"Tampax needs to extend the string to 2ft so I can hang myself with it every month."

"Shaved my girlfriend's cat. Think she'll take the hint?"

"People say drugs are bad, but I'm calling complete BS on that. I've only been on meth for 20 minutes and I'm already the king of Jupiter."

"What car do dogs drive? A Doge charger"

"Two robots walk into a bar... [...and are immediately banned from the establishment.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3sxirv/a_man_walks_into_a_bar_and_orders_a_rum_and_coke/cx1bzxf)"

"Why am I ambivalent about a swimming pool? It just deepends."

"How to beat depression: 1) Talk to someone 2) When that person says ""just cheer up,"" beat that person with a baseball bat."