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Joke of the Day

"Coffee is a gateway drug. You end up stirring liquid with increasingly larger sticks until eventually you're paddling a kayak."

"Bruce Wayne: I wanna fight crime. Alfred: You're a billionaire. Open orphanages, free clinics, day care cen- Bruce: No I wanna punch people."

"Hey girl, are you Karma? ...because Karma is a bitch."

"Finding Nemo (2003) A father is criticized for being overprotective after his wife & kids are murdered & his only surviving son is kidnapped"

"My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker... ...Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet."

"If I'm ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand."

"I am rarely judgmental, but I do scowl, and shake my head slowly in disapproval whenever I see a vegan biting its nails."

"Checking your phone when someone pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation."

"Tonight I was Attacked by 4-5 Terrorists . They were in Car with full loaded Guns. But thanks god I wake up."

"When your body is a solid 10 But your intro and conclusion need work"