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Joke of the Day
"If I'm ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand."
Next Joke
"Most Facebook updates should be like this: Hi everybody, I didn't have anything meaningful to tell you. I just wanted to waste your time."
"Everyone always pets my pregnant wife's stomach and says 'congratulations' but no one ever rubs my balls and says 'good job'."
"Do you know what a lot is? Two words."
"My coffee reminded me of Ferguson today Dark and full of shots."
"I was told by the vet that i had to put my cat down... So i went home to it and said ""You're fat and lazy."""
"What did the Priest say to the Church of Vegetables? Lettuce pray."
"add ""boobs"" to a famous film name 47 boobs. got it?"
"I can't recall the hunchback of Notre Dame's name Does Quasimodo ring a bell?"
"My Girlfriend wanted me to give her anal. I said fuck that shit."