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Joke of the Day

"So I realized I have all these great stories, but far too few end with ""And then I fucked her...."" So anyways I was babysitting my little sister last night...."

"I wanted to make friends but I had no facebook So I went out on the street and started shouting what I cooked, ate or drank. Right now I've got 3 followers - two cops and a psychiatrist"

"That whole ""letting go"" of your ex is always more satisfying when they're dangling over an abyss."

"What did the veterinarian performing canine reproductive surgery say to the veterinarian with over productive saliva disorder? Spay it don't spray it."

"I was sexually assaulted by tony the tiger today. I'm pushing charges for rrrrrrape."

"If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted while writing a paper; Id be making money in a weird ass way, man. ~Mitch"

"Who is Hitlers least favourate character in star wars? Jewbacca"

"The thing that makes learning how to use chopsticks so difficult is that the longer you use them, the soggier your cereal gets."

"Leonardo DiCaprisun"

"Who was the most active of the chinese khanes? Ginseng khan I am in a silly mood. Have a good day"