153362

Joke of the Day

"Some people are only alive in this world because I really don't want to be someone's b!tch in prison"

"What's the difference between a VA Nurse and a bullet? A bullet only kills once."

"What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi? Stew."

"All of my gaming / network usernames are based on things I thought were funny at 19, and that is my greatest shame."

"What's a Mad Cow's favorite rap song? MOO! Bitch, get out the way... Get out the way... Get out the way."

"The worst number in the world. 6.9 it's 69 interrupted by a period"

"My microwave beeps if I don't open the door within 30 seconds of it stopping. I'm fat, microwave. I won't forget there's food in there."

"The rose petal scene from American Beauty, but just me naked and covered in candy wrappers."

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway grocery bag? You take the ""S"" out of safe and the ""F"" out of way. One of my all time faves. If you say it out loud it will make sense :D"

"whats a ghost's favorite fruit? booberries!"