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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi? Stew."
Next Joke
"*wakes up w/phone in hand* Me:[texting] Sorry I fell asleep on ya last night *text chime* Couch: I'm like right here why are you texting me?"
"What did the shoes say to the pants? What up, britches?"
"A girl never comments on another unless she's jealous."
"So I invented a new beef and vegetable recipe, but it wasn't so great... It was meaty-okra."
"Do you like fish sticks?"
"How many ADHD children does it take to change a lightbulb? Lets go ride our bikes"
"A lion offspring asked his dad ""What is a world series?"" ""I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub"""
"That awkward moment you have long eye contact with someone who's really attractive, only cause it's too hard to walk away from the mirror."
"Plot twist: two birds kill YOU with one stone."