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Joke of the Day

"All of my gaming / network usernames are based on things I thought were funny at 19, and that is my greatest shame."

"What is Pi squared? Pop-tart."

"They should put a statue of me next to the Statue of Liberty so immigrants know the American Dream is hit or miss."

"What do two owl brothers say when they are carrying something? To me, to hoo."

"If not at Bed Bath & Beyond, WHERE CAN I BUY A BED BATH?"

"Leia: *gasps* Chewbacca, you're naked! Chewbacca: *hastily puts back on his bandoleer*"

"Being the life of the party doesn't mean being the whore of the night."

"What do you call a lesbian ice cream sandwich? A Klondyke bar."

"I have a fear of speed bumps... But I'm slowly getting over it."

"The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the hear the word FACIAL"