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Joke of the Day

"Maybe it's just me, but reading books on an iPad Mini, I really miss the smell, the heft, the traditional reading experience of an iPad 2."

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"What does your sex life have in common with a highway bridge? If you have weight limits you aren't going to see as much traffic."
"If I ever met the man who came up with the idea of lobotomies, I'd give him a piece of my mind."
"Political Correctness has gone mad... You can't even say ""Black paint"" anymore, you have to say ""Jamal would you please kindly help me paint my fence."""
"I got attacked by a yob with bat down the local park yesterday.. I was really impressed with how well he had it trained"
"What time is it in New York City? 5 past Lundqvist"
"An ATM machine that gives you a hug and whispers 'Everything will be ok' into your ear when you check your account balance."
"Two nuns were riding their bicycles through the back streets of Rome... One turns to the other and says, ""Wow, I've never come this way before!"" The other nun says, ""Oh, it's the cobblestones!"""
"What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog."
"Carrot raisin salad. When you want to eat something horrible, 3 times."