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Joke of the Day

"People ask me ""Why are you single? You're attractive, intelligent, and have an amazing personality"". My response: ""I'm overqualified""."

"Did you hear about those chicken proof yards? They're impeckable."

"A girl walks in on her boyfriend blowing his dick with her hair dryer. ""What the hell are you doing?!"" she yells. He lovingly replies, ""Baby, you just asked me to heat up dinner for you!"""

"""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" *sighs* ""Because I'm a sweater"" ""BECAUSE YOUR A SWE- hehe yeah that's weird but no. Tail light's out."""

"What do you get when you mix human DNA with zebra DNA? Well, kicked out of the zoo for starters."

"I stayed at my girlfriends house the other day but her dad wouldn't let us sleep together Which was a shame because he's really fit"

"The most maddening part of your parents giving you annoying advice is that they're usually right."

"How heavy is a hipster? One thousand instagrams"

"Reports coming in from Detroit that during his visit to the church, Trump was AXED.... ....a lot of questions."

"Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn't hear you the first 100 times."