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Joke of the Day
"Bernie Sanders won another state last night! The State of Denial"
Next Joke
"According to really smart people I should have started saving 20 years ago."
"You shouldn't worry about headaches I mean, it's all in your head."
"I'm gonna hire a person to speak at my funeral and say a bunch of crazy stuff about me so my friends and family think I had a secret life."
"Grandma, if you're looking down on me right now - close your eyes for a few minutes."
"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms."
"Why is Ohio State's basketball team so good? ~~Because they have great shooters~~ Because they drive and cut extremely well Thanks for nothing /r/news!"
"What do you call the area where a horse lives? The NEIGHHHHHHborhood"
"And then the doctor says... Now, what did I do with my pen?"
"What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub? Throw your laundry in."