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Joke of the Day

"""Oh wow, way better!"" -Jedi Knight trying out a gun"

"Why is there a flap on the back of the Navy uniform? So the Marine have something to hold on to."

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked me to make a small donation to the local swimming pool So I gave him a glass of water"

"What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves? Russell."

"People used to be much smaller. WWII people were a foot shorter. Medieval people were basically hobbits. Jesus was the size of a cat."

"I'd like to see Batman and Robin fight crime in places that need it the most. ""Hey Batman!"" ""Yeah, Robin?"" ""Didn't we park the Batmobile here?"""

"Hillary Clinton came out with a new campaign slogan in response to Sanders' ""Feel the Bern"" Its called ""Feel the Clit"""

"What was the name of the Antartic terrorist group? ICEis"

"Scientists find new way to measure pregnancy Placentage"

"I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines."