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Joke of the Day
"Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair."
Next Joke
"Answer your phone, ""come in"" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond."
"I have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing them. Let's all be thankful I'm not a surgeon."
"4 yo: Mommy, it feels so good. Me: What does? 4 yo: To be a gangster. Me: ... Go tell your father I said to come here."
"I saw an old man being beaten up by a two men in masks. I decided to help... We beat the crap out of him."
"What do you call it when you say ""please"" and ""thank you"" during sex? common Coitusy"
"The world seems like a beautiful place until you realize that there isn't one thing that hasn't been shoved up a butt."
"What US state has a lot of dirty laundry? Washington"
"There is nothing quite as genuine as hearing from a friend you haven't seen in forever and finding out she sells Avon now."
"People who automatically say it will get better without actually knowing what the problem is... is why there are bodies buried in my yard"